Volvo, and most other car companies have a well deserved image problem: their design is all male-centric. Volvo has a CEO who is determined to give their cars a more female-freindly aura (remember that this is the company that has the greek sign for masculinity as it’s brand logo). So they put together a female focus group and translated their ideas into a new concept car, the “Your Concept Car”, recently on display in Geneva at a motor show.

So what does Volvo’s female focus group think are some good ideas for cars for women?

Take the back seats which, like cinema seats, are folded down only when needed for seating, leaving space for shopping and sports bags behind the front seats when they are not being used.

Fair enough I suppose, and a tacit admission that nobody on this bloody planet uses the full seating capacity of their bloated automobiles anyway.

Seat pads, attached with magnets, can be removed to be cleaned. The interior seat pads are replaceable And the pads are available in different colours and textures to match a woman’s outfit, or even the weather.

Right. Because women like cleaning and making everything they come in contact with match their outfit.

The car’s bonnet is another fun feature. The whole front of the car is moulded in one piece which can be removed only by a Volvo mechanic. “Honestly, the only time I open the bonnet on my car is when I want to fill up washer fluid,” said Tatiana Butovitsch Temm.

Okay, hold on now. External access to the window fluid resevoir – sure, I can see that. Put the oil dipstick next to it while your at it. But what possible productive purpose could sealing off the entire engine compartment possibly serve? Surely having the potential to access the engine doesn’t harm anybody does it? Or do they feel that women are intimidated just by the fact that they have the option of attempting to understand and/or service their own vehicle?

Furthermore…

The car should be programmed to discover any problems under the bonnet, then send a message to the garage to let them know. The mechanics would then contact the women directly to invite them over. “If the car says nothing, then everything is fine,” said Ms Temm optimistically. “It is minimal maintenance, really, because the customers have limited time and they don’t want a car that gives them a lot of hassle,” said Ms Christiansen.

So the idea is to keep mindfullness of the cars functioning as far as possible away from the owner. With this advanced feature, you wouldn’t even have control over wether or not you would know if something might be wrong. All that thinking would be handled for you by the professionals at the garage.

It’s DRM for your car really. It’s not your software/hardware/car, you just pay to use it.

Where the hell did Volvo find these women?