There’s no question: KLRs are asskicking motorcycles. No bike has gone so far or done so much. And like the old VW buses, they have a broad, deep community helping other owners restore, troubleshoot, maintain and ride them. I guess it’s because A) they are the closest thing I can think of to a truly go-anywhere do-anything all purpose motorcycle and B) mechanical advice just doesn’t go obsolete, since the design of the 2007 models is practically the same as the orginal 87’s. What a brilliant idea! That kind of manufacturing strategy is stand-out genius. Apparently even the parts are largely interchangeable across two decades of manufacture date. The pressure from the marketing department to upgrade and change and offer the “all new for 1995!” version must have been enormous over the years, but Kawasaki has just kept stamping these things out of the factories. These are the AK-47 of motorcycles.

So why don’t I own one? The first bike I ever looked at buying was a KLR. But I didn’t buy it and I don’t think I’ll be laying out for one in the future. First, they’re too damn tall for me. Maybe you can shave an inch or two off with a custom saddle or something. Still, not too comfortable for my 5’8″ frame. Second, I met a guy in southern Mexico once, who was riding a BMW enduro there, and I asked him how many times he had needed the rough-road capability. He said about 5%. I ride in Canada and the US, and apart from the logging-road possibilities I just can’t justify owning a bike that’s okaybutnotgreat on paved roads for those few off-pavement moments. If I ever go riding in Mongolia or something, I’ll buy a bike there anyway. Third, people love their KLRs and refuse to sell them cheap. That first bike I looked at was advertised as “ugly but special” and the seller was more interested in telling stories about sleeping with it in Mexican ditches than actually quoting a price. When he did, it was hundreds more than other bikes of it’s age and condition. They aren’t collector bikes exactly, because people don’t ride hell out of collector bikes. People just get a little too attached to their KLRs to to sacrifice-sale them. I’ve never seen one advertised for less than $2000, unless it had a serious problem. Too rich for my thin studenty blood. And finally, they sound like somebody banging a tin plate with a tack hammer.

All these reflections on a motorcycle I will not own are inspired by this incredible KLR650 FAQ. This is the best FAQ I have ever read.