Increasing PSRL will be the consuming focus of all credibly sustainable LLCS providers, AAAGH

This post (the origins of which I won’t explain because I don’t understand, something to do with some venture capitalist’s challenge posted to AlwaysOn) is a long frightening nightmare to me. I don’t understand it but it disturbs and scares me and I want to expunge it from my brain.


Tim,

Not long ago my business plan for a provider of lifelong learning and career services (LLCS) was circulated internally at Microsoft. I subsequently received the following e-mail from Randy Hinrichs, Manager of Microsoft Research’s Learning Sciences and Technology Group:

“Frank, you are a good man. Have you thought about joining this team? Your only alternative, of course, is venture capital. But their usual models require getting rid of the ‘originator’ within the first eighteen months. With Netscape it took a little longer, but you get the idea.”

An updated version of the business plan is online here.

Why?

A big part of winning the war on terrorism is convincing potential terrorist recruits and supporters that their interests are being served by America and her allies. People are at their most convinced when they are psychologically addicted. Psychological addiction takes shape in the part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which is fired by the prospects of professional success, romance and laughs (PSRL). Increasing PSRL will be the consuming focus of all credibly sustainable LLCS providers. In particular, these providers will race to develop and fund their own student loan programs, as most customers will need financing in order to consume their initial bundle of LLCS, and will be drawn to the provider offering the best loan package. These loan programs will, in time, democratize access to LLCS — and hence, expand prospects of PSRL to all who might otherwise become terrorist recruits or supporters. So conspicuously turbocharging maturation of the LLCS market should be a big part of the war on terrorism. As a startup LLCS provider, The Opportunity Services Group can best contribute by sharing our Microsoft-approved plan to introduce a reality TV show and a participatory online complement, both initially showcasing the buildout of our open source software for online matchmaking, code-named Go_Ogle — and by sharing how this rollout strategy can be leveraged to achieve global leadership of the mature LLCS market, expected to be worth hundreds of trillions of dollars.

Enjoy,

Frank Ruscica

Founder
The Opportunity Services Group :: Have Fun to Get Ready
www.opportunityservices.com

original link

This must be a joke right? I mean, it has to be a joke right? “worth hundreds of trillions of dollars.”?!?
The webpage referenced (www.opportunityservices.com) is an endless font of business qoutes and graphs. Either this is the one of the most elaborate and subtley hilarious spoofs of the business mindset I have ever seen, or it is awesomely horrible.

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